Mute Until Provoked

So I am sorry I haven't been updating.  I was. . preoccupied.  Life changes. Inner turmoil. Him and Her being home at the same time for a very long time.  This makes it hard to check my email and update, because my *god* they give me funny looks when I'm typing. 

Anyway, things are about the same, I think I might have a publisher interested in one of my chapbooks.  I had a courier send it to The Center For the Book and they never batted an eye about the india ink stains (I had a little bit of trouble opening the bottle).

Otherwise, all is sadness and glowering, moonlight stain'd and unfulfilled.

I have taken up a new hobby, however.  Whenever I get a chance I got for a long swim in the lake, it relaxes my mind and muscles and enhances that delicious feeling of solitude I crave.  Until I get home afterwards and have to fight about who's using the bathroom and why. 

Sigh. I love my family, but sometimes they are just too too much.

Right.  I think soem sugar cookies right now would be just the thing.

So I am all cozy in bed, dreaming of the blackness of the Space Beyond. . .and then. . .

"djoolie?"

[pause]

"djoolie?"

[pause pause]

"djoolie?"

"Yes Pipsqueak."

"djoolie?"

"YES pipsqueak?"

"um,"

"..."

"i forget."

Sigh.

[Me, settling in again to meditate on the great Abyss]

[two whole minutes pass]

"djoolie?"

[pause]

"Yes pipsqueak."

"djoolie I hadda bad dreem."

"and?"

"djoolie, kin i snug wif you?"

SIGH.

"?"

"All pipsqueak, hop in.  But no more talking, 'kay?"

"okie djoolie."

[settling in again]

"Djoolie?"

"YES PIPSQUEAK."

"i lov you djoolie."

[pause]

"I love you too pipsqueak. Now go to sleep."

"Okie!"  <snooze>

Kids.

He was in town.

His voice filled the theater.

I have only heard him through my headphones.

And would they let me go see him???  Nooooooooo....

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/03/DDGR3PJB5R1.DTL

I hate them.  I love him.  Someday we will meet.

Mister Guy has left.  He has been gone for 5 days now.

I am so in charge now!!!1!

3 bitches here, but I'm top bitch.  I'm gonna tag the whole place to make sure pipsqueek and lil missy both know who's the boss.  Noone can stop me!

He had it coming.

Filthy, disgusting thing was in MY park.

Probably wanted to tag something. 

God he was ugly.

And on my turf.

So I ran up to him and smacked him around some.  Showed him who was boss, and that he didn't belong here.

And then, he got up.  Thought he was tough.

So I killed him.  Snapped his neck, and ripped a whole in his chest.

No, I don't feel guilty.

Who's the bitch now?

...ruined.

So I took the day off and went to the beach.  Crissy Field in San Francisco.  Ah...  running with my toes in the waves, enjoying the sun, wacthing the dogs run around.

It was quite pleasant.   I didn't even mind pipsqueek coming along.

So we're driving home, when SHE calls. I'd gotten all relaxed at the beach, and completely forgotten all my problems.  Then I had to deal with business, AGAIN.

She wanted a new laptop.  Probably so she can spend less time with me.  Fine.  Get your laptop. 

I expect a nice steak dinner in return.

don't leave them out.

I mean, GAWD - a half a box of cookies sitting in MY spot on the couch.  Of course I presumed they were for me. 

So I ate them.

SO WHAT.

It's their own fault for leaving them out.  And why shouldn't they be for me?  They never give me enough love.

I hate them.  They are so wicked.

I'd go play, but I have a tummy ache.  I don't know why.  I'm going to have a nap in the closet.

I hate them SO much.

Why do I have to live with her?  Why, why, why???

So there I was in the park, about to pounce on those vile disgusting things and show them who's boss.

"Hey Julie!  How you doin?  Whatchya doin?  You huntin?  Can I help? Are there schmouses in there?  Can I help?"

"Ooo, there went one.  I coulda got him.  Lemme try here.  Is this where you was lookin?  I bet I can be as good a hunter as you."

etc.

She is SUCH a moron.  OK, I love her and all, but GOD.  She is SO clueless.

WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ALL THIS STUPIDITY?"

Easiest way to make my caretakers flip out: become a vegetarian.

"You WHAT???"   "That's not healthy!"  "Pleeease just eat a Leetle bit?"  "Chicken? C'mon! You *love* chicken!"

Nope. Not for me. No way. No thanks. Humph.

See how they like that after what the did to me this weekend!  A perfectly good time and they had to ruin it!

Argh.

WHY is my life full of So Many Trials?

Honestly.

It's raining. Morrissey in the closet for me. Maybe Jason Webley later. But none of his cheery stuff.

I really don't know what came over me last night, all I know is that it felt *really* good and everyone else seemed to approve.  That disgusting thing had it coming. I should have mauled him good, and I had the chance but She made me back off.

Next time, though, Oh next time.

Pipsqueak was *no* help. GAWD why do I have to live with such a dork?  She's lucky she's .  .um. . .cute. 

Going back to my closet now. Time for a nap.

WHY do I have to get up when he wants to sit there? It's SO UNFAIR.

They boxed me up again, took me out of the sunshine and fresh air and the dark of night to exchange it to a dark of inside, of stuffiness and staleness.  I was imprisoned, a captive of affection, what do your caresses mean to ME, vile demon, let me out again to stalk with the owls in he grasses, to observe the strange creatures which roam this land, to chase and capture that which I desire. . .

your pale insignificant temptations will not sway me. Out into the widls I say! Out! Take me home!

Besides , I get carsick. at least lemme sit up front, okay?

and I am *not* afraid of the dark!  I just wanted to. . .um. . .sit on the plushy backseat for a while. I wasn't scared of those weird shadows, I was just, um, chilling out. Jeez.

I usually only post when no one else is home.   It's easier that way, except for Whatsername who's always looking over my shoulder asking what I'm doing.  Luckily she's got the attention span of a fruit fly so by the time I tell her to buzz off she's already over there, doing something else ridiculous.

So I am sitting here with this computer and this chair is really uncomfortable and it's freaking cold in here.   At least I can listen to mp3s even though Whatsername killed the cord to the subwoofer. Pipsqueak.

Maybe I'll take a nap.  Sigh. God.

I type this in darkness. I shouldn't let them find out I'm doing this, so far they don't pay enough attention to me to notice. The moon comes in the window, I lay my head down in the pool of light and dream of more darkness.

I don't see so well in the dark actually, I would turn the light on except that. . .well, you know. They's come out here and ask me what it is that I think I am doing. That and that whole opposable thumb thing. Oh well.